[Horror Jam] EERIE DAYS - a twine game
So not sure if the horror jam ever was a thing... but here's my Lo-fi horror entry!
I did a short Twine horror game where basically you wake up in an abandoned movie theater... and then things happen. This is the first time I've gone beyond pure text and the standard linking between passages.
Game was made in Twine 2 and its Sugarcube language, which, in my experience so far, is the most versatile and easy-to-grasp coding language that Twine 2 offers.
Any and all feedback welcome! Do you find the story intriguing? Are you interested in knowing what happens next? Any advice, guidance, or suggestions?
Sound effects are all from Freesound.org (with permission to use).
Hope you get some kind of enjoyment out of this!
I did a short Twine horror game where basically you wake up in an abandoned movie theater... and then things happen. This is the first time I've gone beyond pure text and the standard linking between passages.
Game was made in Twine 2 and its Sugarcube language, which, in my experience so far, is the most versatile and easy-to-grasp coding language that Twine 2 offers.
Any and all feedback welcome! Do you find the story intriguing? Are you interested in knowing what happens next? Any advice, guidance, or suggestions?
Sound effects are all from Freesound.org (with permission to use).
Hope you get some kind of enjoyment out of this!
zip
zip
EERIE DAYS.zip
4M
Comments
Cool, I'm glad I could get the sounds implemented. While we're on the subject, do you feel the sound levels were well balanced? It's something I struggled with a bit and I could only test on my headphones. Also, for the sake of criticism, is there any aspect that you didn't like about it/felt needed work? And then did you feel like you were playing as a certain gender? I'm trying to write it in a way that doesn't denote a specific gender.
Yes, planning on taking it further, but more to learn and experiment than anything else tbh. I've been dabbling with game design on-and-off for about three years now and I've realized that producing narratives (especially branching) for games can be quite complex - so want to use this project to practice that as much as I can :) Might publish a longer and more refined version on itch.io in the near future to hopefully get some more feedback. Would also like to see if I can't record some of the sound effects myself (the keys sound was my own recording).
Chapter-wise, I'd say it's about 2/3 of Chapter 1. I just thought it would be a good cut-off point considering the jam's time constraint and the fact that I'm still working on the bits that follow this prototype's ending.
Protagonist-wise gender felt agnostic, once I checked in 2nd play, which is cool.
You could add images if twine supports backgrounds, like a graphic novel? Would be better if animated gifs are supported.
Or you could package it all in a generic Twine parser/wrapper executable made with Unity/GameMaker or another engine.
Would be nice if twine drives the flow still if so, so you can re-use it to make many stories/chapters and package it that way, without code changes required. Accessibility via the browser remains ideal though.
K
No motive for the sinister situation that I can figure out and even better a reality twist that blends perfectly with your great introduction and setting.
You made me like pure horror all of a sudden.
I would personally argue against @konman about making it a visual novel, this is only my opinion of course and @konman makes a good point. Leaving your words open to the readers imagination alongside audio may be more effective than adding visuals. Your writing is sound so if you engage the readers imagination, said imagination may be more visceral than actual visuals. Especially since everyone knows this setting, so calling the elements you used from memory is easy.
//////SPOILERS////
I enjoy how you prepare suspense, you don't wait and you are similarly not in a rush.
You immediately engage with the threats and then allow the door to give no horror response, followed with a one-two punch ending. Immediately following up the entrapment with a far greater entrapment. I feel you will immerse many readers with your most relatable setting.
“Ok, I think I’ve exhausted all my possibilities here. Time to move on.” could be replaced with something that doesn't remind you that you are playing a text based game,
I don't know your plans for the story line but dying by getting too close to the figure, although practical doesn't feel like it makes sense to me. Hmmm, unless the figure at the back is not the guy with the keys, it makes no sense for the figure to get grouchy just because your in its personal space, while being totally fine with you keeping your distance when you see him lock up.
I found the audio to be really good. Someone with more audio experience should be able to say more.
Looking forward to the rest!
In terms of visuals, I gave it some thought and I also feel that I'd rather not have the visuals. I like that your imagination fills in the visual blanks, so in the end everybody will "see" their own personal version of the story in their mind :)
Thanks for the feedback in the spoiler section, will certainly take it into account!
If I was to moan about something, the sound effects are too loud and it distracts from the reading, but it's trivial to turn it down. Also one thing that popped into my mind a few times is, it would be really nice if you collected statistics and show the collective choices at the end from other players.
I'm still a bit dodgy about the sounds myself as it seems audio is often softer in my headphones than other devices/etc. I think looking into a volume slider, or the equivalent, might not be a bad idea.
Oh yeah, I like the statistics idea, like Life is Strange... just scarier lol. Also think it would be an interesting mechanic to practice, haven't touched something like that in Twine yet.
Thanks for playing!