"Subtle" Sexism - "Do You Even Play Games (Aside from Candy Crush)?"
Copied from here, but I thought it important to share in totality: http://gamasutra.com/blogs/JustAnotherGameDeveloper/20160202/261775/quotSubtlequot_Sexism__quotDo_You_Even_Play_Games_Aside_from_Candy_Crushquot.php
https://twitter.com/BexSaltsman/status/694869158677204992
I think we all need to be made aware these things and consider our language and approach to people we don't know. And, also, remember, that every member of a team is contributing something important from their unique skillset and experience (otherwise, why are they on the team?).
I would like to add that even this article has an elitist tinge (I'm not sure how to phrase what I mean) in the sense that being a programmer is somehow more valid than being an artist. Those kinds of subtle elitist phrasing also leads to people feeling like they don't belong, as the following tweets about this article also point out:Ed. note: This blog is presented anonymously. Gamasutra has verified the identity of the author and her role at a major studio.
I have an MBA. I have a few years of experience in the video game industry. I have an educational background in game development. I am a game developer. Yet, at industry networking events, I am almost always asked, “Do you play any games, you know, aside from Candy Crush?” or “What do you do at company X? Are you an artist?”
I walk into industry events and, because of my gender, I am assumed to be the least common denominator - the smallest sum of experience of anyone in the room. I am assumed to be the girlfriend, the artist, the casual game player. Rather, I am the game developer, the scripter/programmer, the gamer.
I get it - female game developers aren’t currently the norm. I am often the only women in the room or one of few, even at industry Meetup events.
This isn’t the first time I have written an article like this. I started a number of articles before but was never able to bring myself to publish them because I don’t want to be thought of as a female game developer. (By writing an article like this, I am drawing further attention to the fact that I am a female developer when I want is to be considered a game developer.)
Usually, it goes something like this:
I go to an industry event.
Within the first 5+ minutes, I get a question strongly implying that I have no professional reason to be there (via typical Candy Crush or art-related questions).
I receive 1+ follow up questions requiring me to regurgitate my entire CV within a 1-3 minute spiel, which is often met by a look of surprise as I delve further into my educational and professional background.
If possible, I try to make my exit from the conversation as quickly as possible in order to start a conversation about game development with anyone else.
(By this point, I feel unnerved and wish I said something to deflect the question and make it clear, without ruffling any feathers, that the question was sexist in nature.)
I try my best to enjoy the rest of the event and discuss game development...
...but inevitably, the brief, sexist interaction detracts from other conversations and wears away at me throughout the night (and days following).
When I return home, I consider or (more often) start writing an article just like this one...
...but I always abandon the article when I get close to finishing, not wanting to further perpetuate other developers seeing me as a female developer and unintentionally label myself as a female developer who writes about women issues.
Why is it such a bad thing to make such a (seemingly) insignificant comment (i.e. Candy Crush)?
It’s a self-perpetuating cycle. All forms of sexism, including subtle questions, imply that a woman is at an industry event for something other than game development or for only the most feminine form of game development (interest in casual games or art). It decreases the value of her presence - by simply being there, she has to validate her worth by spouting off her CV, whereas a man is considered to be valid just by showing up (by which, I mean he is automatically considered a core part of a game development team).
I can’t speak for anyone besides myself, but as a result of these forms of “subtle sexism,” personally:
- I am less likely to attend industry events because of the psychological toll that springs from the constant invalidation of my abilities as a game developer.
This may result in 1 less female developer showing up to an event where few, if any, women are in attendance, adding to the perception that there are a smaller amount of female developers than there actually are.
- I waste my time thinking about sexism (including taking the time to write this article) rather than develop games.
This inevitably results in less time learning new programming languages and tools - the entire reason I’m in this industry.
- I question the current state of the industry and my own workplace performance, mostly in relation to my concerns of advancing my career in the long term amidst this socially ingrained sexism (manifesting in everyone, including myself - see Dr. Beverly Tatum’s definition of racism, which, at its core, is largely similar to the systems surrounding sexism).
I am less likely to put myself in the spotlight at consumer facing events. (If game developers allow sexism to permeate conversation, it is even more overtly pronounced among gamers.)
This also results in 1 less female present at events where it arguably counts the most - showing gamers and the world at large that females are, in fact, an important part of the development team.
This chain of events may seem obvious to me and other female developers, but it’s easy to dismiss seemingly inconsequential comments and questions. (I.e. “You must be an artist.”) If you’ve never had to think about these comments from a female’s perspective, you probably haven’t considered the impact that such a comment has (aka “male privilege”).
Ultimately, these comments compound over time and make women less likely to show up at events where they should feel included.
What can people do to make this behavior less prevalent? Well, it starts with you, no matter your gender or role within the industry:
When you overhear a “minor” comment or question implying a woman is at an industry event for anything besides development in a key role, speak up. If you hear “Do you play any games, you know, aside from Candy Crush?,” call out the “subtle” sexism overtly - “Hey man, what makes you think she only plays Candy Crush?” Remember, even if a comment bothers her, she may not say anything because she doesn’t want to be the one who “took an innocent comment or joke too seriously” (especially if she’s still trying to “make it” in the industry).
If being overt isn’t your style or you’re shy about calling out strangers, just think of something, anything to keep the comment from going unnoticed. You never know which “subtle” comment will keep a woman from coming back to industry events and potentially drive her from the industry entirely.
And women, as hard as it can be, flip a sexist comment or question around on itself. Think of what you could say in response to sexist comments on your way to industry events or parties so you’re prepared. I have a hard time doing this - no matter how many times it happens, I am always thrown off guard. Maybe it throws me off guard because I don’t encounter it on a daily basis since I am lucky to work with a great team of people (although over the years, I have encountered sexist comments and behaviors at game studios).
If asked “Are you an artist?” (even if you are one), say, “What makes you think I’m an artist?” While he may laugh or shrug off the sexist implications, at least you may get him thinking about why it is he asked that question. The more often these sexist questions and comments are turned around on him, the more likely it is that he will stop making them altogether.
If you have any additional suggestions for combatting “subtly” sexist comments, please share your ideas below, and please, speak out! Only by working together can we make the games industry a more pleasant and accessible place for everyone to enjoy developing games.
https://twitter.com/BexSaltsman/status/694869158677204992
Rebekah Saltsman @BexSaltsman
I get: "I know you are just marketing but" or they assume I'm just "the girlfriend/wife/partner"
Verena Riedl @skittlesolives
@BexSaltsman for me it feels like a triple insult. JUST being a woman, JUST doing Marketing and JUST being the partner of a gamedev
I think we all need to be made aware these things and consider our language and approach to people we don't know. And, also, remember, that every member of a team is contributing something important from their unique skillset and experience (otherwise, why are they on the team?).
Comments
I agree with the problem, although I don't believe that focusing on the language of the communicator is necessarily the most effective strategy - especially since most of the time the usage of certain words may just be subconscious. It seems like a lot to expect from "people we don't know", if you'll forgive me turning that around.
At some point (at least some of) the onus has to be on the receiver as well.. I know it's scary to be confrontational, but it does work if done correctly and I think a lot more effort needs to be spent on teaching the confidence and options available to deal with these situations. We ultimately teach people how to communicate with us, don't we?
Maybe just have a think about the kinds of things you say to new men that you're meeting in a game dev environment compared to what you might say to new women you are meeting in the same environment.
There's a reason why Amber Key Collabratorium was created, after all. Because the game dev environments are essentially hostile to women (and other minorities) and this is just one aspect of subtle sexism that drives women out of our communities.
I'm not implying that the problem does not exist, or defending any side. I'm just highlighting that there are other tools as well, which I don't think is getting the necessary attention... in the same way you said it is interesting that my first reaction isn't to take responsibility, I had the same thoughts when the responsibility to stand up is being de-emphasised.
Honestly, communication goes both ways, and there is just more to it than what is being expected. And while the focus is the problem in the game dev environment, I have had to deal with these same conversations often in the corporate world as well - and having seen the results in both teaching the language, but also teaching ways to stand up to it, I feel it is important to note.
The thing that's wrong here is the assumption that someone at a game industry event is somehow less or shouldn't be there because of their gender. The issue isn't what's communicated, it's that baseless, sexist assumption. It's still wrong when people don't talk to women at game events because of that assumption (how, in that case, is someone supposed to "communicate both ways") and it's wrong when someone opens an interaction differently because of someone's gender.
Writing an article about this wrong assumption is a way to communicate about it. The article itself even explains why "standing up to" such assumptions at an event is not always desirable. I think you need to be careful that you're not being seen as advocating that people on the receiving end of a shit assumption are to blame for fixing it, because they're not.
So here's my thought process on relying on this kind of communication: the people who tend to read these articles and talk about them are already onboard with the message, they understand the problem, and are willing participants towards building a better community.
Most of the same people that these articles are talking about will simply not be part of these conversations and they will not end up reading about it either. The only way to make them understand that the conversation even exists is to direct their attention to the problem during the conversational transaction - even if it may be undesirable. At some point it needs to happen, otherwise they will simply remain ignorant ad infinitum.
And I am an artist.
The temptation to just say "no, I'm a developer" in order to negate the dismission is so great.
But I don't.
And then I don't want to attend/engage/converse because I'm reinforcing a thing that makes me feel gross.
A thing That I've worked Damn Hard at for over 10 years makes me feel gross.
The negative impact of that gets into my productivity for weeks and weeks.
I'm not trying to dismiss how you feel at all, I want to try and understand, does being an artist make you feel inferior at all, or is it the conjunction of being a woman and being assumed an artist that produces this feeling?
Thus then, the bigger problem is to address the perception of artists being inferior to programmers?
I myself don't perceive things that way at all. I was an artist first. I don't think being an artist is inferior.
Sorry, not sure if what I'm saying is coherent, I'm trying to figure this out...
It also doesn't matter if you don't consider being an artist inferior - that's irrelevant, you're not experiencing the sexism in the situation... I dunno, maybe to help explain: Imagine if nobody at an event bothered to speak proper english to you because you look Asian? Would people constantly putting on horrible random "chinese" accents like you could never understand anyway be a problem or not? Oh, and everyone else at the event is majority english-speaking westerners. And they're doing this to anyone that looks Asian.
The ick bit is when I realize people seem to be assuming inferiority because of my gender. Then ask about my being an artist as a way to explain my presence in that setting. By telling them I'm an artist it's as though I'm confirming that I somehow shouldn't *actually* be there, that I'm not *actually* a developer.
I know what I'm capable of on a project, how well I engage with gamedevs as a whole, and the "*just* an artist" stigma does not apply in this setting, my roles are wider than that. But that's a part of the conversation that can only exist if I'm not dismissed for my gender at the onset.
The combination of being a woman and an artist in this setting has an extremely negative outcome that says
"Yes, you are correct" when the question "Are you an artist?" is loaded with that subtle "can I dismiss you this way, perhaps?"
And yes, there is a vibe of artists being inferior to programmer, it's not bigger problem, it's more of a contextual normality. Programmers are more likely than artists to define game design, project direction and lead projectss. When an artist becomes a solo project or team lead their roles change accordingly.
The assumption seems to be that the people leading projects and designing games aren't women, so when a woman introduces herself and is asked if they're an artist it becomes "I can I explain your presence away to reinforce this assumption?"
The problem can only be addressed by everyone being more conscientious towards everyone else, and raising awareness about it. And eventually, very eventually with that awareness the context can become less unwelcoming towards women, and hopefully the vicious cycle of [few women present creating an environment that's unfriendly towards women] can be broken.
I believe a woman who appears at a gathering that's primarily male, and is placed in a social situation that is already biased against her, if she speaks up about it, has a pretty good chance of having her sex used against her. If she calls someone out for their subtle sexism, it's very possible for the offender to claim that she's being a bitch, or oversensitive, or over-emotional, or a feminist (in a derogatory way). And I think it's very possible because (1) the offender probably doesn't know their stance was sexist to begin with, so is likely to perceive her resistance as being hyper-sensitivity, and (2) people are generally pretty defensive when their paradigms are challenged. I know that my girlfriend's called me out on sexist behaviour in the past, and I'd immediately defend myself and claim she was being unfair, or that she misunderstood, but only hours later after a lot of thought and consideration I'd realise she was right -- and I consider myself a feminist/ally.
I get why you call not wanting to rock the boat disempowering, but I think the fact is that it is far more difficult for a minority person to defend themselves because of the giant shadow of their minority-ness being used against them somehow ("ugh, women are so emotional/oversensitive/etc."), than for someone with privilege to step in and start the feather-ruffling. (Not that they can't do it, but that I think it's a much bigger energy cost, and even more so if it gets a bit ugly.) We can encourage women and minority groups to speak up about it, sure, but there's a danger there in making it "their" problem, and absolving ourselves of responsibility. I would rather we played our part, whatever our sex, but especially as men. If she can handle it, she can say "Thanks, but I've got it covered," but at least she knows that even if she's the only woman in the room, there are people who are on her side, and I think that's important for getting them to return to these events.
This is my very unscientific and overly generalised (oops, there I go again!) view of the situation:
As humans we really don't like unknowns, as that makes us fearful, so we like to put labels on things and put them in little boxes. When we encounter something we are not familiar with, we immediately start this process: that is a table, it is pink, it is modernistic and I'm going to put it in my "I don't like it" box. Ok good, now I know what it is, I don't like it, so I can move on.
If we imagine another scenario: aliens land in jhb and they are fenced off. You are already fearful as you know nothing about them. You walk past the fence one day and see two aliens for the first time. Their surrounding is a dirty slum and they are busy attacking an animal, you are horrified and hurry away, with now a clear picture in your head. The aliens are violent, they are dirty, uneducated, vile.
And so it starts: you go home and tell everyone you know what you think of the aliens, and your story as proof to back it up. One of your friends has a popular blog and posts about it. Anyone who has not encountered the aliens are still fearful of them, so hearing or reading this story they grasp at the labels that are now readily available to apply. As it spreads, you no longer even need the story, people's labels are enough, and a good solid stereotype has emerged.
A while later, a curious and brave journalist decides to venture into the alien "slum" and see for himself. He interviews many aliens, and gets a tour of the whole "city". What he finds is that actually there are rich areas and poor areas, that all the aliens are highly educated, but for those that don't have the connection, they are starving because of the situation they've put in, and some are so desperate that they would even kill animals, which is against their culture and isn't very good for their digestion.
The journalist goes back and writes the story, which gets published in a small newspaper. But by now everyone already has their labels, they've comfortably put aliens in their "yuck" box, so their minds fight against what they've read, it makes them uncomfortable: don't mess with my boxes!!
(Wow, I've rambled on now.)
I'm sure we've all been victims of stereotyping, and we've all been guilty of it too. I know when I was at primary school, I was labelled a nerd, and at high school, a goth. Both were labels that put me firmly in the "outsider/loser" box, and so I ended up really not liking school.
Many years later, my wife made me realise that I was actually just as guilty at stereotyping. I used to talk about the "rugby players", and I had mental labels for them such as "violent, unintelligent, uncultured, etc". Now some of you might nod your heads in approval. It is FUN to stereotype, isn't it? Our mind likes it. But it is WRONG. Because if you make the effort to speak to many people that played rugby, you will find that most are really nice, intelligent people, that just liked to play a particular sport at some time in their life.
Since then I've been trying to continually challenge myself, that when I encounter someone/something, I try to stop my mind from trying to put them/it in a box, and just have the fun of the experience. It is really difficult and one has to continually work at it, but when you open up your mind, you start having much more rewarding experiences and you meet amazing people.
So next time you see someone in the corner, go say hi, and start the conversion with "so what do you think of the weather?" :)
1) you've misspelt her nickname.
2) I'm really not sure what you're getting at here, but your comparison is going to get some hate.
Women != aliens. They're literally about 50% of the population, give or take.
Women != fenced off. They're not foreign objects.
What women do != some kind of violent and uncivil action (besides biological differences like periods and erections and pregnancy and beards, etc, we basically do the same things)
So I'm giving you the benefit of the doubt as I don't think you meant to make the comparison as I read it above, but I'm pretty sure plenty of people would get that from what you've said.
The point is to be understanding of someone else's experience especially when it is an experience that you have never had to deal with.
That being said this is a lot less intense than the last few gender discussions have got so I guess that's nice ;) (so far)
Thanks for sharing @dammit, it think it's good to be aware about these issues even on this kind of subtle level, and helps to reevaluate oneself periodically :D
Also I can completely understand the desire to not ruffle feathers. I'm conflict averse and I struggle to do it, even though I'm empowered to do so. As @elyaradine says, this is much more difficult when it's stacked against you.
As to all the other comments, I'm glad to see such a positive discussion going. This is a particularly widespread and subtle constant problem and is talking about it, in my mind, is part of moving to solutions. It's definitely not okay to say that women must simply tell men when they're being sexist at these times (as mentioned above) because (1) it can end in us receiving further rejection, humiliation etc, (2) it's exhausting to police every interaction, (3) it's also not my job to make you a better person... It's your job to find out about how you can better treat other people, especially minorities.
There's been a lot of talk about imposter syndrome lately and I think we can all agree that this kind of interaction (mentioned in the post) is what leads to an exaggeration of that feeling for women. I don't know how many times I've felt like I don't belong because I'm just a boardgame designer, just in marketing, I'm not a programmer or an artist. I wonder what the sound teams feel like given they're often last to be thought of on a project?
@dammit: the whole post was not aimed at you, just the first paragraph, which thanked you for sharing the article. I apologise for misspelling your nickname, I guess I've typed too many "git commit" commands lately and didn't notice the mistake.
As for the rest of my post, I intentionally wanted to look at the bigger picture of stereotyping, as that is really the cause behind the issues brought up in the article. I tried to make my point through the silly example of aliens because I figured most people won't have preconceived ideas about aliens and can look at the story objectively. I guess I was hoping that someone might read that and go: you know what, I am actually carrying around stereotypes in my head, maybe I should address that. That happened to me at some point, and that realisation made me a much better person.
If it came across as condescending, and everyone is like, duh, that is so obvious, then I'm sorry and I'll definitely not post something again.
@Electrov ... the point is never to stop people expressing their opinion, it is to understand someones point of view. If you feel your point of view is misunderstood then discuss it in a humane and decent way and don't act piteous, just talk it out. Much like @dammit is trying to do about her point.
Nothing here is personnel, it's someones opinion shared with other people of similar understanding and industry. Talk it out and come to an understanding/middle ground and then hopefully everyone steps away learning thing :P
I've even heard women try and smooth over their comments by bringing in Candy Crush or similar themselves. If I ask what other games they play it usually turns out the Candy Crush comment was just a way to disarm the person they're talking with and they usually play other games much more. Not that there's anything wrong with playing Candy Crush either, but it's not cool that they have to lie to sooth someone's ego and get a conversation started.
So as I see it, there are two possible ways to try handle these situations: be aware of your own biases and try catch yourself from making such comments, and trying to step in if you see something like this happening. The problem with stepping in is that you usually have to escalate a situation to do anything about it, and that's generally not desirable for the victim, and why is it your place to defend them in the first place? You don't want them to feel like they need someone to defend them. It's especially difficult when the comments/questions are only very subtly sexist. Does anyone have any tips or tricks they use? Does trying to talk to the perpetrator afterwards help?
I also realise something else now... a LOT of what works in corporate (or within a single company) does not simply translate well here, because in a large corporate there is the additional motivation to ultimately build a cohesive unit across a whole range of teams and skills, etc. (and there protective measures like HR etc. that could be leaned on).
I do think it does come back to finding responses to these statements when they happen, though - when there is a conversation. Maybe they don't have to be confrontational. Maybe (as a start) they can be something as simple as responding (to the candy crush question for example): "of course I do, don't you?" and moving on with the conversation.
:)
The other approach I suggest is a secondary solution to hopefully help spread the principles more quickly, and it's something I think about myself. There's a biblical parable about logs in eyes that's applicable here - when it comes to these issues, everyone has a log in their eye.
I've watched it happen a lot over the years and I know that I've gotten better at seeing it, it must have happened a lot that I didn't see too... In just the last year I've seen women getting talked over at jams and meetups and discussions. I've seen interested, keen game developers get ignored or shunned because they're women or black or both. I've seen people refuse to acknowledge that a woman came up with a great idea and insist on attributing it to me instead. I've gotten better at spotting it thanks to articles like the one in the OP. I've learned ways to deal with it thanks to discussions like this one. I'm keen on learning more and being able to do more... I used to do these things. I probably still do. I want to do them less.
When women get talked over, don't let the dude doing it get my attention - keep it firmly on the person who didn't get to finish her input and indicate that she should continue after the interruption. Sometimes you can glance at the dude interrupting and then look back to the person he interrupted to emphasise that he's just sidelined someone. If there's a chance to talk about the problem of women being talked over with the dude in a non-confrontational way then maybe try to bring it up later.
Re-orient facing directions at meetups to include people that are outside the current conversation circle in order to make them feel more welcome. Ask people questions about the current conversation to welcome them to chat. Think about ways to include people that don't put them on the spot to justify who they are or why they're there: "So what's the most interesting thing you saw at the conference today?" is a pretty good example... At the same time, I'm aware that I can and do start interactions from a position of confidence and authority that can be alienating - if I'm not careful, then I'm automatically asking people to justify themselves if I ask them anything specifically. It's a dance.
In specific cases, like the one where a dude refused to acknowledge a female source for an idea he said was genius - in front of her, well... Sometimes that indicates a complete lack of awareness of their unconscious sexism, that's going to take a lot of patient explanation and listening to slowly undo. An investment like that isn't anyone's right to claim, there's no reason sexism should be tolerated just to spare someone's feelings. Asshole behavior is assholish, after all.
Now, time for the TLDR: The whole point of me talking about these things I do is to emphasise that it's a win if the women involved have no idea that I'm doing anything it's not a performance, it's a slight lessening of the shit they have to deal with every day. Yes, it's a constant thing to think about at meetups, yes it takes time and energy, nobody deserves a prize for basic consideration - the reward is more people feeling welcome. What I will do is check every once in a while to see if people are cool with me doing these things (spoiler, if you're male, I'm not going to have asked you) and if I get told to stop anything, I do.
P.S. Part of the reason for the rapid-fire introductions at the CT meetups was to combat the stereotyping of non-white/male/cis people and give everyone the idea that this person has neat shit they're doing: Be that supporting a significant other or shooting lasers at things.
I don't intend naming or shaming - but I will tell you of an event that stuck out for me. Towards the end of last year, we had clients coming in to talk about a project. The first person of a team of two arrived and let us know his partner would be a bit late - stuck in traffic. We started chatting about the project. When this partner arrived, I went to open the door for him. Without greeting or even acknowledging me, he headed straight for the meeting table. I cannot know for sure, but his assumption was probably that I was the secretary. He did look quite taken-aback when I proceeded to re-join the meeting and then also be the person pitching ideas at him.