WC#1:Alien Lobotomy by Jurgen

Hi

Here is my entry for [Writing Challenge] Competition #1

Have a great day.

Jurgen
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Alien Lobotomy.pdf
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Comments

  • @Jurgen, you're the only person I know who signs forum posts like an email!

    I look forward to giving this a read.
  • edited
    Hi.

    Hehe;)

    I'll await some positive feedback. enjoy:)

    Have a great day.
    Jurgen
  • This is a fascinating concept. Though, being a linguist, there are some finicky details I'd like to bring up:

    Why would a German-speaking Austrian scientist with a Scandinavian name give an alien species a moniker which sounds like it might have come from a language in the Austronesian family (i.e. ones that originated in Southeast Asia)?

    There could be a reference that I'm missing here, but it seems really unlikely that Ahm-okine would've been the go-to title for practically any human being to bestow upon inter-dimensional beings.

    This is really more nitpicking than anything else, but it'd be great to hear how you came up with the name, and how you'd go about justifying its place in your setting :)

    Secondly, 'Project Alien Lobotomy' is pretty on-the-nose. The word 'lobotomy' has overwhelmingly negative connotations, and for good reasons. I feel like any government or organisation that launched such an effort would try to give it a name that's less overtly sinister, especially when you consider that these lobotomies are being performed on human bodies.

    Not sure if any of this is genuinely useful, but it is worth considering the ground-level implementation of language within fiction and how that relates to the way people speak in the real world.
  • Hi Brondin.

    Thankyou for the feedback.

    To answer your first question:

    This is something I should have put in the entry, where the name comes from.
    It would be more fitting to say that Dr Hedlinger would have communicated with the alien beings and through this communication he would have discovered their name as they name themselves.
    In the beginning the Ahm-okine (coming from my mind as I'm-ok) are friendly and helpful, not wanting any conflict of any sort (obviously for them), then later one discovers their true nature. They are not here to help.

    Secondly:

    You are right about the word Lobotomy, for me it had a humorous connotation from when I was younger for example the insane doctor says to Mr Peters," Ah yes, ready for your lobotomy, hahaha!!!", that made me laugh.
    I do agree with the negative connotation side as well.

    I purely used the name "Alien Lobotomy" because that was the name of the game and it wasn't really stated that I could change the name :)

    What you said I do find useful, being mindful of reasons behind names is important.
    In future, I would definitely do some research on certain terms before implementing them.

    Thanks again

    Kind regards

    Jurgen

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